I've blown a few things in my day
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize