I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
