remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They took my balls.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
