I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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