Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
