They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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