does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
