There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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