He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
