Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize