i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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