im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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