i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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