well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
