So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
