I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
