OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
