He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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