Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
