I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize