You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
