I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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