Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
