As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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