k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
