well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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