I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
