But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
