I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
