Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
