cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
