There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Even my vagina gasped.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
