We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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