just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
