I molested 6 butterflies tonight
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
