something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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