at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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