So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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