Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
