Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
