he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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