VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
