Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
