my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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