I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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