Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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