I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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