1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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