is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Couch. On fire.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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