Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
