I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
