U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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