there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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