It's Friday. Sex?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
