Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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