"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
