He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
