You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
