i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
