i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
