Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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