I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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