Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
